A Christmas Message: Paper or Plastic

25 12 2004

This Christmas I have a blog. I’ve never had a blog on Christmas before, so I think I’ll include a Christmas message. I’ve never been much for wrapping gifts. It takes so much time to do it right and make it look just so. Then what happens? It gets ripped to shreds, because it’s whats inside that is the real value. Not the 45 minutes of precise folding and double stick tape. Destruction and a fateful trip to the dump… that or grandma saves it for later? Right, because she’s going to use it again and it was so pretty. No… wrapping, though thoughtfully appreciated – admired as an art form in itself, nigh unto origami – is just not worth my time. Especially not when I could use grocery store plastic sacks. Oh yes, when Christmas is around the corner you can bet I know the answer when I’m asked, “Paper or Plastic?”

    Let us run through the list of pros for the “plastic” idea:

  • virtually free and unfathomably common – found under every sink in America
  • semi opaque – for that scintillating “left to imagination” look – think lingerie for your gift!
  • completely covers 5 sides and easily closeable
  • prevents large gift giving
  • doubles as a handy post unwrapping tote
  • pre-installed bow / post unwrapping tote handles
  • reusable post unwrapping – twisting the “bow” ends tight will allow for easy untying
  • can be saved for next year under sink
  • can be used for 5¢ discount at Albertsons
  • comes in festive holiday colors (Sorry Albertsons, blue won’t cut it! See you for the 5¢ after Christmas)

So there you have it. I can think of a single con, so we’ll quit while we are ahead. I realize that this may be a day late and way more than a dollar short, but next year I expect my gifts in plastic!

Merry Chistmas! Seasons Greatings! Happy Holidays! Peace on Earth and good will to men!

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