Are you dating anyone right now..? .. because [RED LIGHTS FLASHING]

4 04 2004

Apparently, being single, employed, having some semblance of social ability, and sufficient hygiene, makes me the prime candidate for a lineup. At least that is what those who I have not trained, still think. A fellow single person and I were recently talking about the lineup phenomena. We started to talk war stories and swap experiences. THat led to how we wished it would really happen. Finally we started to lay down what we thought the rules ought to be for lineups. We came up with some rules, some guidelines and some “red light” actions or sayings involved with lineups. Here they are a bit embellished and open for scrutiny.

Rules:
1. No double blind line-ups. Double bind is when the person lining you up doesn’t actually know the person they are lining you up with. If Bob knows Mary, and Mary has a friend that Bob doesn’t know, and Bob tries to line you up with Mary’s friend, that is a Double Blind Lineup. The more degrees of separation the scarier and the name changes accordingly, i.e. Triple Blind, Quadruple Blind, etc.
2. Linee must know both parties, and have a good reason for thinking that they should perform this lineup. Qualities like pulse, desperate and miserable, needs date, are typically not acceptable, unless that is what you are looking for.
3. Linee gets one chance to line you up. “Are you going to spend your one chance here?”, is a good question to ask so that the those who line you up adhere to rules 1 and 2.

Guidelines: (The following are statements that lessen the possibility you will be pleased with the line-up.)
1. The further from your age the linee is. Generational gaps lead to a lesser understanding of what you might like.
2. Linee is same sex as line-up. Your same sex will also have a better understanding of what you might be interested in.
3. Linee has character traits you are not fond of. Birds of a feather…
4. Linee is married. Married people forget amazingly soon that there ever was such a thing as “single” or that they ever were that way. They forget the process and the steps to get there and only remember from that day they decided to do the deed.
5. The less the linee really knows about you. Complete strangers will have a harder time picking your type.

Red Flags Sayings: If you hear these, lie, run, and/or hide, it’s coming.
1. “You’re single?”
2. From opposite sex, “She’s so cute!”
3. “Perfect match” (doesn’t exist)

Feel free to add and comment. I’m interested in your thoughts!

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One response

5 08 2004
Ann Gates

Those are very sound rules. Here are some tips to make those blind dates less harry when you do agree to go on one. 1) Tell the date that you’ll bring a friend, and ask her to bring a friend. That increases the odds and makes bad dates less painfull. 2) Make it short. A lunch date is good, or what I like better is meeting at an ice cream or coffee shop for desert or hot chocolate. Meet at 9:00 on a weeknight. Just as short as a lunch date with more time to talk, and as a guy it will cost you less.

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